I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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