is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize