Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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