I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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