you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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