She went from zero to smokin in five shots
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
