So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
