I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
