She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
