Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
