Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
