jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize