She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
