I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
