worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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