I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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