I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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