so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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