i think i have two assholes
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love having hate sex.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
