put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you had me at cake vodka
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize