i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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