Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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