i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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