I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
