Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
