I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
