Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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