I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
