i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
