yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize