Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
