My room smells like vodka and shame
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
