I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
