we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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