We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
