woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
