the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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