I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
