when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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