Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
