If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
