I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
