Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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