You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
