I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
