dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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