and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
