I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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