my being single is dangerous.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
