Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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