ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize