Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
