P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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