I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
