God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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