Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
