Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
