did you get engaged???
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
