Please, let me fuck your mom
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize